Why Is It So Hard to Talk About Same-Sex Experience? A Case Study of Veiled Silence in a Research Relationship through Reflexive and Autoethnographic Lens

Abstract

Research into intimate details of human life can be challenging for the parties involved. This article is a case study of a research situation in which I, as an interviewer, failed to elicit information from a male Vietnamese interviewee who evaded discussing specific details of his romantic life. I argue that this situation—the man’s avoidance of sharing details of his feelings toward people of the same sex and my discomfort in facing his avoidance—reveals a culture of silence regarding same-sex experiences in Vietnam. The study utilizes autoethnographic anecdotes of my experience of growing up in such a culture and observing similar evasive attitudes. It also adopts a reflexive approach that delves into segments of my second research encounter with the interviewee as well as my internal struggles, including feelings of anxiety and guilt about probing into an informant’s romantic life. It seeks to enrich Lisa A. Mazzei’s concept of “veiled silence,” which describes the deliberate non-engagement with taboo topics by linking it with the idea of a “culture of silence,” or a disempowering social environment, and discussing these concepts in the context of Vietnam. It also contributes to the literature on LGBTQ+ matters in Vietnam and qualitative research methods by recommending greater attention to silence in research encounters, which can offer unexpected insights for studies into sensitive issues.